The Strawhat boys play Never Have I Ever
by V-Marie-Ashes
Summary: Like the title says, the Strawhat boys decide to play a drinking game called Never Have I Ever. The rules? Only talk about dirty stuff! [Warning: Lots of swearing, and a heavy dose of sex-talk.] Rated M for safety!


_**Disclaimer:**_ _I do NOT own One Piece, I only like to borrow characters and plotlines from Oda, and I am not making money from writing this._

 **The Strawhat boys play Never Have I Ever**

It had been Luffy's idea of all people, he had originally wanted the whole crew to join, but Sanji had refused to join if the girls were taking part, saying he didn't want to tarnish the girls' hearts and minds with their disgusting behaviour. And Zoro and Usopp had refused to allow Chopper to join them as he was way too young and inexperienced for it to be any fun for him, so he had agreed to be the one to keep score, also he wanted to learn about the other guys, maybe he could use it in his medical research.

So here they were, in the boys' living quarters, Sanji had been kind enough to sacrifice his storage of cheap sake for this night's antics.

"Luffy, you sure about this?" Usopp asked as he handed each of them a shot glass, or rather a regular sized glass that would work as a shot glass, as Sanji refused to let them use his rather precious sake-cups.

"Yeah, it'll be fun!" Luffy grinned as he opened one of the bottles and poured the liquid into his own glass, before passing it to Brook who was sitting on his left. They had agreed that everyone would have to drink from a glass and not a bottle, as that would ensure that everyone had the same amount of drinks.

"Alright, I said I was down, but let's make it interesting okay!" Zoro grinned mischievously as he filled his own glass.

"Yeah, what do you propose mosshead?" Sanji didn't like the look on the swordsman's face, but he wasn't going to back down from a challenge, as that was definitely what the guy was planning on making it.

"Let's have some rules," he continued to smile in the same way, "One, we're only allowed to say dirty things," a murmur of consent came from the rest at that, " –two, we're only allowed to have a maximum of 15 drinks each, I think there are enough bottles for that, and three, the first one to drink all 15 loses and has to do dishwashing duty for a week."

"Yohohoh, I never I thought I'd ever hear you limit your amount of drinking, Zoro-san," Brook laughed from where he had taken up a spot on the floor.

"Well, it wouldn't be fun if the game didn't have some challenge, and since I can hold my liquor pretty well, it wouldn't be fair if the loser was the first one to get wasted," he looked at Usopp as he said it, and for once Usopp shrugged and nodded in agreement to that statement.

When everyone had agreed to the terms, Luffy decided he would be the one to start since he was the captain, and that they should go around the circle counter-clockwise. "Okay, I have never…" he looked thoughtful for a second. Then, smiling triumphantly, he said, "-kissed a girl!"

"Oi Luffy, we're supposed to say something we haven't done so that you don't lose!" Sanji shook his head; of course the rubberman would mix up the rules on the first try.

"Oh, Shishishi, okay!" Luffy grinned sheepishly and rubbed his neck, "–I'll remember that for next time then!"

"Fair enough," Sanji shrugged and everyone lifted their glasses and downed their shot, when they'd all re-filled their glasses, they looked over at Usopp, the next in line.

Usopp cast around for a good one, when his eyes landed on their lockers he smirked, "I have never, read a porn magazine!" he looked around expectantly, and as he thought, everyone except him and Luffy drank to that.

"What? You've never read porn?" Sanji asked Usopp incredulously. Luffy he could believe, but Usopp?

"Nah, haven't needed to," he tapped his temple, "-I have everything I need in here!" he smiled dreamily.

"Okay, don't get a boner already, we're just getting started," Zoro shook his head before he looked around at the others, stopping on Sanji, "I have never, fantasised about the girls on the ship!"

"Hey, what are you looking at me for?" Sanji narrowed his eyes, before he deflated and threw the glass back and swallowed.

When Luffy and Franky did the same, most of them stared at Luffy.

"Okay…" Sanji looked warily at Luffy, but chose not to comment on it more than that. "I have never…" he cast around for something not too bad, they were only getting started anyway, "–jerked off in a public place."

Both Zoro and Franky shrugged and downed their shots, "That the best you could do, cook?" Zoro raised an eyebrow at him.

Sanji bristled; "Oh we're only getting started moss-boy!" he looked between the two who had just refilled their glasses, "I hope to god you two had the decency of doing it where you weren't spotted at least."

Franky shrugged, "I don't know, might have."

"Stop being such a kill-joy Sanji, Franky you're up!" Luffy said impatiently before Sanji could turn on either of them.

"Alright! This is going to be suuper!" he clapped his hands together, "I have never, lost my virginity in a place other than a bed."

Luffy and Usopp looked confused at that, "What do you mean?" they asked in unison.

"He means, if you lost your virginity somewhere other than in a bed, you have to drink." Zoro sighed before raising his glass and throwing down another shot.

"Oh, I can drink again then!" Luffy beamed and threw down his own shot. As did Usopp, Sanji and Brook, too.

"Yow! None of you did it in a bed the first time?" Franky stared at them.

"Nah, mine was outside," Zoro said nonchalantly.

Luffy nodded, "Yeah mine was in a flowerbed," he laughed.

"A what?" Sanji spluttered, "A flowerbed? Oh that poor lady!"

"Hey! Wasn't my fault, it just kinda happened," Luffy pouted, "I would have done it in a bed, you know..."

Looking over at Sanji, Brook interjected before another shouting match could start, "Yohoho, I guess it's my turn then," he said jovially, "-I have never, jacked off in the boys' sleeping quarters."

Everyone looked at Brook incredulously before they each downed their shot.

"Oh come'on Brook you've done that too!" Sanji laughed as he refilled his glass.

"Yohoho, I'm afraid I haven't Sanji-san, though I cannot deny that I have not wanted to," he sighed.

Zoro looked at him, narrowing his eyes, "Okay so I know you're a skeleton and everything, but you can't tell me that you never did that on your old ship?"

"Yeah, everyone does it, even Chopper!" Usopp pointed at the reindeer who was sitting on one of the bunkbeds, his scoreboard clattering to the floor.

"I –I…" Chopper blushed profusely.

"It's okay Chopper, you're a man too." Zoro said reassuringly, "We all have our urges, and it's only natural."

Chopper nodded, still blushing, "I –I know that!" he spluttered before hastily picking up the scoreboard again.

"So come'on Brook, bottoms up!" Franky clapped the Skeleton on the shoulder.

"I, yes, you're right, I cannot deny that I used to do that." He lifted his glass and downed the liquid in one go.

"Okay! First round over!" Luffy laughed, "Chopper what's the score?"

Chopper looked around at them, a faint tint still on his cheeks, "Um, do you want me to start with the ones who have the most or least first?"

"I don't care," Luffy shrugged, "The one with the least."

"Oh okay, then," he looked down on his sheet again, "-Usopp has the lowest with three," Usopp groaned at that, "-then there's Luffy and Brook who's got four each," Luffy gave his trademark, "shishishi," at that, while Brook just nodded, "-and then Zoro, Sanji and Franky are all tied with five each."

All three of them beamed, "Heh, not bad for a first round!" Franky said proudly.

Chopper looked at them confused, "But, -but I thought that the one who drank the least was going to be the winner?"

"Yeah well, the goal here isn't really to win Chopper," Sanji smiled at him.

"It's not? But," he looked around at them, they all had that knowing smile on their faces, "-but isn't the loser going to have dishwashing duty for a week?"

"True, but the goal is to make everyone else drink and reveal something about themselves, so nobody really wants to win, but no one want's to lose either." Zoro shrugged, "It's basically just an excuse to drink, and have fun while doing it."

"I, -I don't understand it…" Chopper sighed.

"Oh well," Luffy beamed, "You'll get it eventually! Now," he turned to the group again, "-we start the real fun! I have never, kissed a guy!"

Zoro didn't waste any time on being embarrassed and downed his shot, the person sitting next to him however tried with all his might to seem as inconspicuous as possible as he drank his own.

"What? Sanji? You've kissed a guy?" Usopp yelled in shock.

Sanji nearly choked on his drink, "Not so damn loud you bastard, the girls might hear dammit!"

Usopp looked at him like he'd grown two heads, "Sorry, but I never thought you…"

"That I never what, longnose?" Sanji cut the sharpshooter off mid-sentence and shot him a death-glare.

"That you, -uh…" Usopp faltered.

"That you'd ever do something like that, since you're a ladies man and what not?" Franky interjected, trying to save Usopp from getting a kick to the face.

"Well I have!" Sanji scoffed before he glared around at them, "-anyone got a problem with that?"

All of them shook their head no, not wishing to anger to cook anymore, or they might as well just call off the whole thing. This was supposed to be all fun and games right?

"Um… okay," Usopp cast a furtive look in Sanji's direction before he looked around the room trying to think of something to say, something that wouldn't make Sanji explode again. Everything he came up with though, meant that he would have to drink too, and everything else was just too far out there, and they weren't nearly drunk enough for those yet. Finally he decided on a safe one, even if it meant he would have to drink too. "Okay, I have never, gone down on someone."

"Yohoho, haven't we all done that Usopp-san?" Brook laughed as he downed his shot.

Usopp rubbed his neck, "Yeah I guess we have," he sighed and drank his own shot together with everyone else.

Zoro leaned over to him, using the act of reaching for the bottle to refill his glass, and whispered a short "Good call," before turning to the group, "Alright, I have never," he looked at the crate of bottles in the middle of the circle, thinking. After a few seconds he smirked, "-had a threesome!"

Sanji looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "Seriously Marimo?"

"What? I bet you've done it," he mirrored Sanji's face with his own raised eyebrow. They were definitely challenging each other, that was for sure.

Sanji raised his glass and looked at him triumphantly, "Of course I have," and downed the contents. Looking around he saw Franky down his, which wasn't surprising, but he was surprised to see Usopp down his glass as well.

"So Usopp," Zoro said bemusedly, having seen the younger teen down his glass, too, "Care to elaborate?"

"Yeah!" Luffy looked at Usopp almost in awe, "I wanna know, too!"

Usopp looked around nervously; clearly he hadn't been expecting to have to talk about that. "Well…" he started, but a blush crept over his cheeks and he looked away, "Fuck, okay so back on my home island, I have a girlfriend, well sort of anyway…" he let out a shaky laugh.

"Go on," Franky looked at him gleefully, as did the rest of them, even Zoro and Luffy who knew about Kaya and Usopp's relationship.

"Well, she's sort of like a noble, and lives in this huge mansion…"

Sanji and Franky whistled, "Damn man, how'd you score that?" Franky asked impressively.

"Ah, well our town is pretty small, and when her parents died, I got to know her to cheer her up, and well… we kinda started having this secret relationship after a while… anyway, one day she had visitors from another island, you know, political stuff. But this was also on one of the nights where we usually met up, so her friend decided to tag along, and apparently she didn't want to be left out and, um, joined us." His face had turned tomato-red at this point, and he couldn't take his eyes off the floor.

"You lucky dawg!" Franky sighed, then looked at him suspiciously, "Hang on! This isn't one of your lies is it?"

Usopp shot his head up and glared at the cyborg. "No it fucking isn't, like even I could make up a lie like that!" he huffed indignantly.

"Yohoho, you kids are so wild!" Brook laughed merrily before sighing and looking at his own untouched glass of sake, wishing for what was probably the hundredth time since he'd joined this crew that he wasn't born in the era he was. Even as a pirate the standard of sexual encounters back then had apparently been vastly different than it was today.

"Never would have thought you to have a girlfriend though," Sanji light a cigarette as he looked over at Usopp who was yet again looking at the floor and blushing. He was starting to feel the light tingling of the alcohol now, and felt calmer than he had done in a while. "So, my turn!" he said gleefully, and caught Zoro's eye for a fraction of a second, "I have never," he grinned maliciously, "used a fruit or a vegetable as a sex-toy."

Zoro glared at the cook and spat a "Fuck you!" before he took his glass and downed the content of it, slamming the glass down on the floor when it was empty.

The rest of the group looked at Zoro with their jaws open, "What?" he growled at them angrily.

Usopp coughed and then squealed as Zoro turned his gaze on him, "Nothing! I didn't say anything!"

"Um Sanji-san," Brook looked over at him, ignoring the glare from Zoro. With him being a skeleton though, it was hard to read his expression, but Sanji guessed it was that of confusion, "did, -did you know this about our swordsman?"

Zoro looked furiously at the cook, but Sanji just smiled mysteriously, "Well, let's just say that me and the Marimo has played this kind of game before."

Now everyone stared at Sanji, bewildered that the two people who always fought each other and had always seemed to hate each other had played this type of game before; like they'd had a conversation about this kind of stuff, of all things, without killing each other.

"I'm warning you dart-board brow…" Zoro growled.

"Hey, I said we were only getting started last round," he said gleefully, which only seemed to aggravate the swordsman even more, his fingers twitching as he seemed to restrain himself as he slowly reached for his katanas.

"Yow! Alright then!" Franky jumped in as the aura around the two seemed to darken, there was only a matter of time before they jumped on each other, and he really didn't want the room destroyed. "Continuing before there's a massacre in here, I have never, had sex in a shower."

"Oh yay!" Luffy beamed, "I can drink again!" and like that the tension in the room disappeared once again.

Zoro who'd been glaring daggers at Sanji, and Sanji who'd been smiling maliciously back, both turned back to the game, and downed their drinks without saying another word. Usopp, whose cheeks were finally getting back to their natural colour, also drank.

"Man I wish I could have done it…" Franky sulked when he saw all of the younger members in the crew downing their drinks.

"Yeah? Why haven't you then?" Luffy asked him curiously.

"Have you seen the size of my body, Luffy?" He spread out his arms, as to make a point of just how big his body had become. "You really think there'd be room enough for both me and a lady in a shower?"

"Well, yeah it's big now, but you were normal sized when we met you in Water 7, didn't you do it there?" Luffy looked at him, still with that curiosity etched on his face, though his eyes were getting a little glazed over from the alcohol starting to take its effect.

"No," he sulked, before he smiled a little proudly, "Did it loads in the rivers though, and on top of Yagara-Bulls."

"Yagara-Bulls?" Brook asked, as he had never heard of these things.

"Ah yeah, they are these creatures that look like a mix between a sea-horse and a dog and they float around in the water ways, and we use them to ride on in the city." Franky explained offhandedly, but as Brook looked like he was yet again confused, cocking his head to the side, the cyborg rubbed his neck, "Uh, it's kinda hard to explain what they are…"

"Yohohoho, that's quite alright Franky-san, I can see them when we go back to your home-island one day." Brook laughed good-naturedly, "So, my turn again, at last," he tapped his fingers on his knee as he thought about what to say, "How about, I have never, had sex with a pair of twins."

Luffy groaned, "But we just had one about threesomes."

"Ah, sorry Luffy-san, shall I pick another one?"

"No need," Zoro grunted, "Cyborg here has already downed his shot," he shot his thumb at Franky, who was in the process of lowering the glass from his mouth.

"What?" Franky said a little guiltily, "Oh, sorry I just kinda wanted to drink after the last one."

"No need to feel guilty about it," Usopp laughed, "Kiwi and Mozu right?"

"Well yeah, they were pretty suuuper too," he smiled.

"I can imagine," Sanji said dreamily, "I've always wanted to try it with a pair of twins."

"Why doesn't that surprise me," Zoro said dryly.

"You say something, algae-head?" Sanji shot him a glare.

"Yosh!" Luffy shot in hastily, he was really starting to feel pretty good, and didn't want the mood to change again, "Second round is over. Chopper?"

Chopper, who'd been looking at the scene, intrigued by all the stuff the others had done, blushed a little before he hastily looked down on his scoreboard, "Um, so starting with the one who has the least, Brook has five-,"

Brook sighed, "You youngsters really are a crazy bunch, yohoho."

"–then Luffy and Usopp has six each,"

Luffy and Usopp sighed dejectedly at that, too.

"–Franky has eight, and Zoro and Sanji have nine each."

"Oh, you're so going to lose ero-cook!" Zoro shot in challengingly. Some of his anger had faded, and had again been replaced by the thrill of trying to one-up the cook.

"You think so, do you? You're gonna eat your words shitty swordsman!" Sanji shot back with the same challenging tone.

Usopp looked warily at the bickering duo, "Luffy, start the next round already, before these two," he pointed his thumb at the guys sitting next to him, "-decide to kill each other for real."

Luffy looked between Zoro and Sanji too, he couldn't feel any murderous intent from either of them, but he agreed with the sniper, the situation could turn fast with those two. "Yosh, alright! Let's see, I have never, been walked in on during sex!"

Everyone around Luffy raised their glasses and downed their drinks, "All of you?" he asked in awe as he stared around at them.

"Yup, Zeff walked in on me, he didn't even blink, just told me to hurry up and get done so I could get down to the kitchen again," Sanji shrugged, a faint smile tugged on his lips however.

"Well, the butler at Kaya's place walked in on us, I barely got my pants zipped up before he threw me out," Usopp laughed, "It happened a couple of times too, I thought he was going to kill me in the end."

"Yohohoho, I can't even count how many times we walked in on each other in my old crew," Brook laughed fondly, a hint of nostalgia in his voice.

"Yow, that brings me back," Franky laughed too, "I remember Kokoro walking in on me once, thought I was going to have a heart-attack."

Everyone except Brook cringed at that, "I'm sorry man," Zoro said sympathetically as he barely contained his own laughter.

"Yeah, it suuuper ruined the mood," he hung his head, "I couldn't have sex or even jerk off for a month after that, that hag kept popping up in my head," he shuddered violently just by remembering it.

"Can't blame you!" Usopp laughed as he wiped away tears, "Okay my turn! I have never," he tried to stifle his laughter as he looked around for a new thing to say, his mind was starting to feel a little fuzzy so it took a little time for him to finally calm down enough to come up with a good one, "–I have never, paid for sex."

Zoro downed his shot, as did Franky, when Sanji did the same however most of the guys raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?"

"You've paid for sex?" Usopp said warily, "–I thought you were all about wooing the ladies, and thinking of paying for sex as undignified or something."

"Yohohoho, Usopp is right, I am a bit shocked too Sanji-san." Brook said, a hint of surprise in his voice.

Sanji just shrugged, "Well I used to think like that, but situations change I suppose, and sometimes it's just been easier that way."

"For once we agree on something shit-cook," Zoro grunted as he poured himself a new glass.

"Humph, you probably just did it because you suck at picking up ladies," Sanji jeered, "–not that I blame them."

"What was that?" Zoro glared at him.

"Oh nothing," Sanji waved his hand offhandedly, "–come'on it's your turn shithead!"

"Sure," Zoro grunted, he still kept his eye on Sanji however, and a faint smirk ghosted his lips, "I have never, had sex with someone that's more than 25 years older than me."

Sanji narrowed his eyes at him and muttered a low, "Bastard!" before he took his glass and downed its contents.

"Aow, Sanji you little slut!" Franky laughed.

"Hey! I'm not a slut!" Sanji bristled.

"Oh?" Zoro raised an eyebrow at him, "With all the people you've bedded, I would have to agree with Franky, Mr. Nosebleed."

"Well for your information mossboy, I don't go around fucking everyone I meet!" Sanji jabbed his finger on Zoro's arm, glaring at him.

"Shishishi, so how old were she, Sanji?" Luffy asked gleefully.

Huffing, Sanji turned to his captain, "She was 42, for your information."

"Oh, so she was an old hag then?" Luffy laughed, and when Sanji's face contorted in rage, he fell over on the floor clutching his stomach laughing even harder.

"She was NOT an old hag, you buffoon!"

Zoro grabbed his arm before he could leap over and kick their captain, "Sit your ass down asshole," he growled, before he said as sarcastically as he could while trying not to laugh, "I bet she was as sweet as a buttercup."

Sanji whipped his head around to glare at him so fast it was amazing he didn't crack his neck, though for a second his vision swam before him, "Shut it Greenie!

"So tell us Sanji," Usopp interjected before Sanji could start throwing kicks around, "How did you end up fucking such a mature lady," he was careful to put emphasis on the "mature" part, drawing even more attention to the big age-gap between him and the woman. He knew he shouldn't have, but he was really starting to feel the effects of the alcohol now, and so he was steadily becoming more reckless, his cowardliness fading fast.

Sanji ripped his arm free from the swordsman's grasp and slumped down again, "She was a regular at the Baratie, the restaurant I grew up on," he sighed. He was coming to terms with the fact that the others wouldn't let it go, and the booze was steadily making him tipsier, so he found that his temper faded faster and faster as well. "One day she came alone, without her husband, she told me he'd died or some shit, and in my effort to console her, I ended up getting into bed with her," he chuckled, "Turned out she'd been eying me for months, and on that day her husband had been sick, so she'd come alone just so she could fuck me."

"Yohohoho, that's harsh!" Brook laughed, "So what happened when she came back with her husband then?"

Sanji smirked a little at that, "Well I can't deny I wasn't shocked, so being the idiot that I was, I told her how shocked I was to find that her husband was alive and well right in front of them both," he shook his head and sighed, "–so of course the husband exploded in anger, and accused her of this and that, and the poor woman didn't even bother lying about it," he chuckled slightly, "I didn't know what to do until the shitty old geezer turned up and threw them both out. I was on dishwashing duty for a month after that."

"But," Chopper piped up from the bunkbed where he was sitting, catching them off guard, having almost forgotten that he was there, "–that was a really mean thing to do! She shouldn't have done that, I mean, she was married and everything, why would she do that?"

"Chopper," Usopp said calmly, "–women, especially at that age, have a tendency to get bored with their husbands, so they go after younger men," he nodded towards Sanji, " –who catch their fancy, to have some fun."

"Oh," Chopper nodded, comprehension dawning on his innocent face, "So that's why it's such a big deal that she was older than Sanji."

"Ah, not entirely," Zoro coughed, and Sanji shot him a dirty look. "Most of us find it funny, because going to bed with someone that old, is like going to bed with your mother, which is just disturbing. Say cook?" he said inquiringly, "You don't have an Oedipus complex or anything, do you?"

Sanji fumed, "No I don't you ass! And it only happened once, so shut the fuck up about it already!"

"Sure, sure," Zoro drawled smugly, "Then get on with it, it's your turn, cougar-chaser!"

Bristling Sanji refused to back down, and continued to glare at Zoro, "Fine! Then I have never," a smug smile crossed his face, "–fallen asleep during sex!"

Zoro laughed, "Seriously? That's the best you can get up with?" he smiled smugly back, before he downed his shot.

"Um guys?" Usopp said warily, "You do know we're here too right, and would like to drink too?"

"Sorry Usopp, but I'm not going to let this shitty swordsman win over me," Sanji said hotly, refusing to back down from the staring contest that was going on between him and the swordsman.

"Zoro, Sanji, if you're just going to use things that you know the other have done, then you're both out!" Luffy said sternly, before hanging his head, sulking "I wanna drink too."

"Yohohoho, I agree with Captain-san, I would very much like to drink some more too, but ah!" he looked at Zoro, "Have you really fallen asleep during sex, Zoro-san?"

"Well I had been training all day, and after we'd gone down on each other, I wasn't in the mood to continue and fell asleep instead," he shrugged, "Anyway, Franky you're up!"

"Aow!" Franky grinned and fixed his eyes on Usopp, a mischievous glint in his eyes, "Okay, I have never, had Den-Den-Mushi sex!"

"Oi! What are you looking at me for? And what the hell do you mean by that? I've never had sex with a Den-Den, that's disgusting!" Usopp protested angrily.

"I didn't mean that you've fucked a Den-Den Mushi," Franky roared with laughter, "–but that you've called your pretty little girlfriend at home and you've talked sexy to each other."

Spluttering Usopp looked around at them, they were all smirking with that all-knowing look on their faces, "I haven't done anything like that! How the hell would I be able to with all of you around?"

"Oh come'on longnose," Sanji rolled his eyes, "I can think of a million ways you would be able to do that."

"Well I haven't!" Usopp crossed his arms in front of himself defiantly.

"But Usopp," Chopper chimed in, "I've heard you talking about dirty stuff in the aquarium-room some nights," he looked innocently at the sniper, "But I just thought you were practicing or something…" he trailed off as the room erupted in hysterical laughter.

"Oh man! I love you Chopper!" Franky roared from where he lay on his back, haven fallen over with laughter.

"I, -No!" Usopp shook his hands in front of himself, trying to defend himself from the accusations.

"Shishishi! Just give up Usopp, I've heard you too!" Luffy lay wheezing on the floor, clutching his stomach in laughter.

"Fuck you guys!" Usopp groaned and slumped his shoulders, before picking up his glass and swallowing the contents.

"Yohohoho, Usopp-san is so lucky to have a girlfriend," Brook laughed, "Alright then, I have never, had to pick pubic hair from my mouth after going down on someone."

The laughter died in most of the boys' throats as they cringed at that.

"That's just disgusting Brook," Sanji said appalled.

Looking around none of the boys had picked up their glasses; instead they were all staring at the skeleton with horror-struck looks on their faces.

"Yeah, don't tell me it has happened to you?" Zoro looked at him a mix of disgust and sympathy.

"Oh no, I have been fortunate enough to have had clean-shaven bed-partners, thankfully," Brook said reassuringly.

Usopp nodded, "Yeah, I'm glad Kaya isn't one of those, au-natural girls," he shuddered, "Don't know what I would have done if she'd been all bushy."

"I don't have a problem with a little bush up top, as long as the rest is clean," Zoro shrugged.

"Shishishi, I agree with Zoro," Luffy said, having managed to sit upright again, "I think it's kinda cute when there's a little dot of bush to twirl your finger in or snuggle your nose in when you're down there. It just smells so good, you know."

Usopp looked at Luffy and burst out laughing again, "I never thought I'd hear that from you, Luffy!"

"What? Why?" Luffy said innocently.

Sanji facepalmed and shook his head, "Because you're so childish Luffy, it's just so hard to imagine you doing something like that."

Franky had buried his head in the crook of his arm, stifling his laughter, "I suuuper agree with you Luffy, but I'm with Usopp and Sanji on this!"

"But it's true," Luffy whined, "You guys have done it too, haven't you?"

"I don't doubt that all of us have at one point or another, Luffy," Zoro shrugged, "-I won't deny it at least."

"Chopper, can you tell us the scores please," Sanji sighed, raising his head and looking curiously at the little reindeer.

Chopper who'd been sitting and staring confusedly at the reaction of the others, startled a little before shaking his head, "Oh, yeah," he looked down on his scoreboard again, "–let's see, Brook and Luffy are tied with six."

Luffy whined at that, "Aww man, I wanna drink more."

"I agree with you Luffy-san," Brook sighed.

Chopper shook his head a little, "I still don't understand this. Anyway, next is Usopp with eight."

"Well at least I've got some experience under my belt!" Usopp said with some pride, grinning a little lopsidedly.

"–then it's Franky who has ten."

"Yow! That's suuuper!" Franky beamed and pressed his nose to make his hair look like his old hairdo from before they split up for two years.

"–and last we have Zoro and Sanji who are still tied, but with twelve each now." Chopper finished, and looking at them, they both looked challenging at each other again.

"Oh this is getting interesting now, you're still going down ero-cook," Zoro said gleefully.

"In your dreams Marimo, you're the one who's doing dishes for the next week!" Sanji retorted just as gleefully, but with a hint of drunkenness in his voice now.

"Shishishi, alright new round!" Luffy beamed, "I have never," he looked around the room thinking hard before nodding to himself, "–said the wrong name during sex!"

Franky and Brook lifted their glass simultaneously, and grinned at each other before throwing the glass back, swallowing the shot in one go.

"Yohohoho, I suppose it's just us this time Franky-san," Brook said good-naturedly.

"Yow, I suppose so," he said just as good-naturedly before turning to Sanji, "I'm surprised you haven't though, Sanji, with all the people you've supposedly been with."

Sanji shrugged, smiling a little proudly, "Well, I've rarely had to use their names, so it hasn't been a problem, and with the ones I got the name of I remembered them if it came down to it."

"Huh, I'm almost impressed," Usopp said, a hint of mockery in his tone, "I guess even the Casanova has a way to get around the name problem," he puffed out his chest a little, "I can proudly say that I've never done it as I've only had Kaya, and I've never cheated on her."

"Aww, you're such a romantic Usopp!" Franky cried. "The love of the young is so pure!" If he hadn't been sitting on the opposite side of the circle, he probably would have hugged the sharpshooter now.

Sanji took a drag from his cigarette, and breathed out a few smoke circles before looking over at the cyborg, "Oh pull yourself together man, you should rather feel sorry for him, I mean, he's not had any sex in almost three years." He looked at Usopp with pity.

Usopp huffed, "Well I haven't needed to, and just because you guys have libidos like animals, doesn't mean we all have," he raised his head a little higher, "I don't care if I have to wait another three years if that's what it takes, Kaya is the only one for me, and I won't betray her!"

Franky only sobbed harder at that, and this time Brook joined in as well, both wailing of how beautiful young love was before they both took out their instruments, "I've found the inspiration for my next song, yohoho! Young Love Knows No Bounds!"

"Oh shut up will you!" Zoro barked loudly before they could get into playing, "Usopp it's your turn, so get on with it before I decide on who I want to kill first!"

"Okay, okay!" Usopp nodded, "Oi," he shouted to get the duo's attention. When they finally calmed down, put away their instruments and looked at him sulkily, he smirked and continued, "I have never, eaten food off of someone as foreplay!"

Nobody was surprised when both Zoro and Sanji downed their glasses again, but their focus was on Luffy, expecting him to down his glass as well.

"What?" Luffy looked around at them, "Why are you staring at me?"

"Um, I thought that would be obvious, you're the biggest glutton here," Sanji said dryly as he raised his eyebrow at him.

"Well," Luffy shrugged, "-there was this one time, but I ate all the food before we started doing anything," he rubbed his neck looking a little embarrassed at that.

Usopp chuckled, "Why doesn't that surprise me in the slightest," he shook his head, "Only you could ruin such a fun foreplay, wish me and Kaya had done that at some point," he sighed dramatically.

"So," Franky looked at Zoro gleefully, "I guess that's where your food-play came into play then?"

Zoro shot the cyborg a dirty look at that, "Shut it robot-man!"

"Oh come'on Marimo, tell the man about it!" Sanji cooed at the swordsman, smiling a little lopsided at him.

"Oho?" he raised an eyebrow at the blond, "You sure you wanna go down that road blondie? What about you then, you gonna tell us your own experiences with it?"

"Maybe," Sanji teased. He knew that the glass he just drank was quickly making him pretty drunk, but at this point it was too late to back out, he just hoped he would be able to keep his mouth shut about certain things.

"Yeah tell us!" Luffy chirped, looking expectantly between the two.

"Fine," Zoro sighed, "The sex-toys thing happened at a different time than the foreplay though," he kept a straight face, as he locked his eyes on the wall in front of himself, " –well, I guess you could say it like that at least. The foreplay thing was more to do with the usual stuff, you know, chocolate, whipped cream and that shit, which, I won't lie, was pretty hot." He stopped there, unsure of how to tell them about the rest of it, even he could admit that it was embarrassing and it wasn't something he really wanted the rest to know about.

"I bet it was," Usopp grinned, "So what about the rest then?" he prompted, but on catching the look on Zoro's face he faltered, "On the other hand, I'm not sure I want to know."

"Yohohoho, never thought I would see the day that our stonefaced swordsman would become embarrassed by something, though I have no eyes to see with!" Brook chuckled, but his laughter died in his throat when he saw the murderous look Zoro was giving Sanji.

"I fucking hate you for this you know!"

"Oh don't be so shy mossy," Sanji puffed a little on his cigarette before he smirked at the clearly struggling swordsman, "I bet the others won't think any less of you after you tell them."

Grumbling something incoherently, Zoro groaned and rubbed his face, "Fine! God I hate you guys right now!" he stretched out his hand, picked up an unopened bottle of sake from the crates, opened it and chugged the whole thing in one go.

"Seriously bro, if it's that bad for you to say it then chill! We seriously don't need to know!" Franky stared at him apprehensively, he couldn't deny that he was intrigued by the whole situation, and he was starting to feel the slight buzz from the alcohol now, but he wasn't about the force the guy to tell them about something which was clearly embarrassing for him.

Zoro closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the bottle had helped calm him down a bit, but he really wished he could have been drunk now, "Fuck it! It was bound to come up eventually," he rubbed his forehead, "So, I have never had problems with, um, alternative ways of having sex, and well when I was younger I experimented a lot, and one thing that I tried was, well, different foods to see, um" he raked his fingers through his hair, this was a lot worse than he'd thought it would be, he sighed again, " –to see what it felt like, I guess…"

When no one said anything, Zoro opened his eyes and looked around at them apprehensively; there were mingled looks of surprise, shock and confusion on their faces, except for Sanji who was looking smugly at the others, as though he'd known this all the time, which of course he in fact had, "Ugh, there! Now you know," he grumbled, and reached out for another bottle, but Sanji swapped his hand away, "Nu-uh mossy, we're not done with the contest yet!"

"Fine!" he growled, "Now you tell them yours then, curly!"

"Love to!" Sanji said sweetly, "So, I was making this heavenly chocolate sauce once," he smiled dreamily, " –and you know how I hate to waste food, so when I had some left from this amazing dessert I was making, I just couldn't help to bring it with me when I went to bed with someone that night, and of course I also brought whipped cream and strawberries as well," he sighed a little drunkenly, "Don't think I've ever had better foreplay than that night to be honest, dripping hot chocolate onto their skin and licking it off, sharing a strawberry kiss, oh it was heaven on earth," He trailed off when he realized no one was listening to him. Huffing he looked around at them, and saw that they were still looking at Zoro, seemingly unsure of what to do or say, "Oh come'on guys, was mossy's story so much better than mine?"

"Um, well," Usopp swallowed looking at Zoro like he'd just met him.

"Oh just come out and say it, dammit!" Zoro groaned, he knew this would happen.

"Yohoho, I guess we're just shocked is all," Brook said trying to sound reassuringly while looking between the two guys.

"Yeah," Franky nodded, "I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, I'm just surprised you actually told us to be honest."

"So," Luffy looked at Zoro, his head cocked to the side, "–what's the big deal about it?"

Sanji sniggered, "See Marimo, I told you they wouldn't think anything less of you," he patted him on the shoulder, but Zoro shrugged him off, "Careful cook," he growled low at him.

"Awwh don't be such a party-pooper, come'on it's your turn again," Sanji grinned at him, he was definitely on his way to becoming thoroughly wasted now.

"Ugh, fine!" he groaned, "I have never," he cast around for something that would take their attention away from him, "–um, roleplayed," he said lamely as he waved a hand dismissively in front of himself.

"Oh I've done that!" Usopp said happily, and quickly downed his drink. He was very grateful for the change of topic, and for the fact that he could drink again, he really needed that now. As he felt the burn of the sake, he felt himself calm down somewhat, he hadn't known he'd been so tense until he felt the alcohol seep through his body.

"You have?" Luffy asked him grinning, he was also pretty happy for the change in topic, though he wasn't sure why, "What did you do?"

Usopp smiled a little dreamily, "Well as most of you know, I grew up wanting to become a pirate, and well Kaya was very supportive of that, so one day she wanted us to take it a little further and suggested that we should play out that dream of mine," if he hadn't been on his way to becoming thoroughly drunk now, he would have blushed at the memories, "-so she decided to dress up as a bar-maid, and I as a true pirate, sash, hat and all. We did the whole, I came into the bar, she would serve me a drink, I would tell her about my conquests and she would become so enamoured with me that she would sit on my lap and whisper about how much she loved my tales before I would sneak my hand up her skirt and finger her while she continued too coo into my ear about wanting to hear more," at this point almost all the boys were leaning in, a dreamy look on their faces. "We continued with that for a while, until she came all over my fingers, and then I laid her over the counter, and fucked her senseless."

"Oh fuck, I'm so jealous of you bro!" Franky said in awe, with a hint of sulking. "Now I wish I'd actually had a girlfriend!"

Sanji, having almost toppled over to the floor, was dripping blood from his nose, "Shit, your girlfriend sounds amazing!" he breathed, arousal shining in his eyes.

"Yeah," Usopp said dreamily, "She really looked so hot in that outfit too."

"Oh no, Sanji!" Chopper suddenly cried from his bunkbed, "Do I need to find a blood bag?"

Everyone hastily looked over at the cook, he was laying on the floor now, a dreamy and thoroughly wasted look on his face, but seemed to have somewhat control over the nosebleed at least, "Nah, I think he's good Chopper," Zoro grunted.

"Shishishi, Sanji is so wasted!" Luffy chuckled.

"Ah, but that might not be a bad idea, Chopper-san, as we don't know how many more of these stories will be told from now on," Brook said a little apprehensively.

"Right!" Chopper leapt from the bed and hastily ran from the room, rushing to the infirmary before Sanji had a real nosebleed relapse.

"So," Franky looked around the room, "-while we wait for our little doctor to return, is it alright if I down a few shots?"

"Yeah me too!" Luffy chirped, "-I haven't had anything these last couple of rounds!"

"Yohohoho, that is not a bad idea Franky-san," Brook took a look inside the crate, there were four unopened bottles left, "I do believe we have enough for quite a few shots each," he withdrew two bottles, handing one to Franky, and filled his glass with the other before giving it to Luffy.

"Aow, even this cheap sake tastes so suuuuper right now," Franky beamed, as he downed two shots straight after another.

"Yohohoho, I quite agree with you Franky-san!" Brook smiled as well. Him, Luffy and Usopp were sending the bottle back and forth between themselves.

Luffy smiled a little lopsidedly after he'd downed his third glass, "Shishishi, that's better."

When Franky's bottle reached Zoro he looked around, the other bottle was empty by now, "Okay if I take the rest in this one?" There was about one third left in the bottle at this point.

"Fine by me," Luffy shrugged, and the rest murmured the same.

"Oi mossy give me soome!" Sanji slurred from the floor.

"You sure you wanna do that love-cook?" Zoro looked down on him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeeeah! I want more!" Sanji turned his head towards him, his eyes unfocused, but drawn in in a pout.

"Fine! Then get your ass off from the floor then!" As he waited for the cook to move he took a few hefty swigs from the bottle.

When he'd finished downing his third swig and was looking at the remaining liquid in the bottle, Chopper descended into the room again, carrying his little cooler with the blood bags inside it, "I didn't know how many to bring, so I brought the whole case," he hung his head and looked at the floor, "but I only have three left, I have to have Sanji make another transfusion soon."

"Don't zsweat it Chopper," Sanji slurred slightly from where he was trying to get himself off of the floor, swaying a little as he did so, "I'll be fiiine." When he finally managed to sit upright he took the bottle from Zoro's hands, threw it back and chugged the remaining sake.

"B-but," Chopper began before Zoro cut him off, "Don't bother with it today, Chopper, you can pester the cook about it in the morning," he smirked, "-when he's hangover and miserable."

"O-Okay," he climbed up into the bed again, placing the cooler next to him, and took up his scoreboard, before looking apprehensively at Sanji who was swaying dangerously where he sat.

"So," Usopp looked around, his eyes a little cross-eyed, "-we ready to go then?"

"Yup!" Luffy beamed, "-whose turn is it?"

"The crap-cooks!" Zoro grunted.

"Oh, it iz?" Sanji slurred before he frowned, his head leaning to one side. He was failing to light his cigarette for the fourth time.

"Oh for fuck sake," Zoro grabbed the lighter from his hands and light his cigarette for him, as the cook was starting to pout childishly, "Now get on with it, blondie!"

The rest of the boys raised their eyebrows at this rather unusual exchange between the two rivals.

"Fiine!" Sanji looked around the room, his eyes unfocused and he looked like he was thinking hard, "Sooo, I have never, lost my virginity before I was 14," he grinned slightly as he lifted his own glass and drank down its contents.

"Oi Sanji!" Luffy said loudly, "You said we're not supposed to say things we've done!" He pointed an accusatory finger at him.

"Oh?" Sanji looked slightly confused at that, "I did? Oh well, too late now," he nudged Zoro, "Come'on mossy you drink too!"

Zoro rolled his eyes at him, before he picked up his own glass and downed the contents, too.

"Yohohoho, I can't say I'm surprised by this," Brook laughed merrily before he looked around the room at the others, "So, shall we divulge our own time of losing our virginity then? I am not sure if one should be proud of this, but I was at the prime age of 23 when I first decided to indulge in sexual activities with the opposite sex."

"You were?" Usopp said a little more surprised than was probably necessary, "Isn't that a little old?"

"I do not think so, Usopp-san, yohohoho, but then again I am from a different time than you, I suppose it was more normal back then," he sighed.

"Ah, I guess that's true," Usopp nodded sluggishly, "Well me and Kaya did it when I was 15 and she was 14," he chuckled, "It was the sloppiest sex I've ever had, and we had to do it in the bathroom so that that damn butler wouldn't catch us as well."

Franky also chuckled a little, "Well my first time was when I was 17, there was a party at this fancy house in the red-district, and me and Baka-burg snuck in to let off some steam after working all day," a fond smile ghosted his lips, "-we were just going to have a few drinks and head home again without Tom finding out, but then this drop-dead gorgeous chick came up to me and dragged me off to one of the bedrooms there," he sighed dreamily, "-she was seriously a pro, taught me almost everything I know today."

"So your first time was with a prostitute? Damn!" Zoro whistled.

"Don't know if she was, but she sure as hell had experience!" he grinned, "Oh the things she could do with her tongue, Yow!"

"Yohoho, Franky you scoundrel!" Brook clapped him on the shoulder, "I'm almost sad to say mine was very much like Usopp-san's!" he sighed again.

"Shishishi, I was 17 too," Luffy grinned, his eyes a little hazy.

"What?" Sanji shot his head towards Luffy, "Then you lost it two yearz ago," he leaned forward, pointing a swaying hand at the rubberman, "That means," he narrowed his eyes at him, "-you lost it after you set out with uz!"

Luffy's eyes bulged for a second and he quickly clapped his hands over his mouth, realization hitting him like a brick, "Fuck, I shouldn't have said that!"

"Oh?" Zoro raised an eyebrow at him, "Now, just who did you do it with?" he smirked.

Luffy started sweating, "N-no one!"

"Oh come'on Luffy, you can tell us!" Usopp goaded, "Was it Vivi?" he nudged him in the ribs; "Oh I know, it was Nami, right!" he smiled lopsidedly at him.

Luffy shook his hands in front of himself, "I-I told you, i-it wasn't."

"What!" Sanji tried standing up, but Zoro grabbed his arm again and he faceplanted into the floor, "It'z not fair!" he pounded his fist in the floor. "How could my dearest Nami-zwan go for you of all people?"

"Yohohoho, this is quite a revelation Luffy-san," Brook laughed.

"Aow! So that's what you meant about the flowerbed!" Franky laughed too, "You did it in the tangerine grove, didn't you!"

"N-no! We…" Luffy tried to defend himself, but everyone except Sanji was smirking at him now. "S-she's going to kill me!" he whined.

"Don't sweat it Luffy, curly here is too drunk to remember anything in the morning anyway," Zoro shot his thumb down at Sanji who was still lying on the floor crying, "-and the rest of us can keep our mouth shut about it," he jerked his head towards Franky and Brook who was sitting to his right.

"Yeah, I won't tell," Usopp said nodding, "She'd kill us too, you know!"

"I-I know, but," Luffy hung his head, "-I promised we'd keep it a secret."

"So you've been banging each other since when? Before or after we got to the grand line?" Zoro looked at him, impressed that they'd actually managed to keep it a secret from them.

Luffy, still with his eyes trailed on the floor, muttered, "Since Arabasta."

Franky whistled, "That long huh? You gotta have been pretty sneaky about it, cause I had no idea!"

"Yohoho, me neither!" Brook chuckled.

"Well we've only done it a few times," Luffy sighed, "-when Nami's been sure we wouldn't be found out."

"A few times?" Sanji cried from the floor, "Oh my dear Nami-zwan!" he tried to raise himself off of the floor, but one of his arms slipped and he faceplanted again, "It'z not fair!" he sobbed again.

"Stop being such a crybaby, shithead!" Zoro yanked him up by the collar of his shirt, and let go of it when Sanji stopped swaying.

"B-but!" Sanji hung his head, "Why him?" he sulked.

"Doesn't matter," Zoro said gruffly, "They're doing it, and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"Yohoho, that's harsh Zoro-san!" Brook said amused, looking at the two with an unreadable expression.

Sanji sighed dramatically, "Fine!" he looked around the room at the others, trying to glare at them, but failed as his eyes were so unfocused now, "If anyone else in this room," he held up his finger, "haz done anything with any of our other beautiful flowers, I'll kill 'em!"

"Yeah yeah, keep telling yourself that, blondie," Zoro sighed exasperated. "Anyone else wanna say when they first did it?" he smirked a little, "Curly here was 13 if I remember correctly, and did it in the pantry of the Baratie."

Sanji moaned, "Why'd'jou 'ave to tell em? I could 'ave done that myself mossy!" he poked him in the arm, and if it hadn't been for the swordsman shooting out his arm and stopping him, he would have fallen over and into Zoro's lap in the process.

"Geez, can't you even sit right?"

Sanji giggled a little, "S-sorry!"

"Damn bro, just how wasted are you?" Franky stared bemusedly at the scene in front of himself, "Chopper how many drinks has he had?"

"Ah!" Chopper, who was looking anxiously at Sanji now, gave a little squeak, "He's had," he hastily looked down on his scoreboard, "-he's had fourteen now, plus what was left in that bottle he drank from when I came back," he bit his lip. "You, you think we should stop?"

"Nah, he can take at least one more," Zoro smirked, "I ain't going to let him get off that easy, not when he's just about to lose."

"B-but," Chopper looked apprehensively at the swordsman, "He's really drunk right now, and I've read that if someone becomes too drunk they can get alcohol poisoning, which means that they will most likely start throwing up, their heartrate and breathing will slow down, their body temperature will fall, and they can get seizures as well." Chopper was nearly crying now, apparently the thought of everything that could go wrong was making him panic.

"Calm down Chopper, the cook has been more wasted than this before, he can take another shot, and the only thing this amount of alcohol will give him is a killer hangover tomorrow, so don't worry," Zoro said calmly to reassure the little doctor.

"He has?" Chopper rubbed his eyes, "O-Okay, but if he starts showing any of those signs, you have to stop okay!" He bit his lip, then looking down on his scoreboard again; he said in a small voice, "You've got fourteen too, you know."

"Oh?" Zoro said smirking, "Franky better say something only the cook has done then."

"Aow! But I have already picked my next one, and it's suuuuper!" Franky beamed.

"Yeah?" Luffy chirped a little too high-pitched, and with his eyes slightly unfocused, he looked at the cyborg grinning, "What is it?"

Franky looked between Zoro and Usopp, a mischievous glint in his eyes yet again, "You ready?"

"Why d'you always look at me?" Usopp groaned and sagged a bit where he sat. Then sighing dramatically, he hung his head, "Fiine!"

"Because you've got a girlfriend and a pretty wild one too," Franky said amusedly before he smirked, "-alright, I have never, been tied up during sex!"

Usopp stared at him, before spluttering, "What d'you mean, tied up? Do hand-cuffs count, or does it have to be with rope or some other bindings?"

"Okay, slow down there lover-boy!" Zoro chuckled.

"I guess, anything?" Franky shrugged, "-so sure, hand-cuffs count too," he chuckled as well.

"Oh well then," Usopp raised his glass, grinned a little lopsidedly at Franky, then downed the contents of it.

"Damn, that means we have to drink too, curly!" Zoro sighed and nudged Sanji who was dangerously close to toppling over again.

"We doo?" Sanji slurred, "Okay then! Bottoms up!" Reaching out to take his glass however, he missed and ended up knocking it over instead, spilling his sake all over the floor. For a moment he just stared at it, until realization hit him and he cursed. Then he tried to grab his glass again, focusing intently on it this time, so when he finally managed to grab it he raised his head, grinning triumphantly, "Gimmeh more sake Marimo! We're finishing thiz!"

Everyone just stared at him, most with raised eyebrows and some with incredulity; he was completely and thoroughly wasted now.

"Shishishi, Sanji is funny when he's drunk!" Luffy laughed merrily as he watched the blond thrust his glass in Zoro's face.

"Yohoho, this is definitely a side of our Sanji-san I haven't seen before," Brook chuckled, "I recon you have experienced this version of our cook before, Zoro-san?"

Zoro pushed the glass out of his face and took it from Sanji, "Fine I'll pour you more sake, just hang on a sec!" he took the second to last bottle from the crate, and looked over at Brook and the others, "Now what gives you that idea?" he said sarcastically as he raised an eyebrow at them, before turning back to the blond who had by now fallen against him, a sloppy grin on his face.

"So," Usopp stared at them, "-so you're okay with him, um, hanging over you like that?"

Zoro looked at Usopp blankly, "If I wasn't he wouldn't still be doing it now, would he?" He finished pouring sake into Sanji's glass, and held it in front of him, "Oi curly-cue, here's you damn sake!"

Sanji lifted his head off of Zoro's shoulder, "Thaank you, Zzzoorrroo," he grinned and very carefully, so that he was sure he wouldn't spill any, downed the contents of the glass.

When he'd emptied the glass, Zoro took it from him and placed it on the ground, a little to the side where it would be out of reach for the cook, who by now had slowly slid down into his lap.

Shifting a little so that Sanji could lay a little more comfortably, resting his head on his thigh, Zoro finally lifted up his own glass and drank. "So I guess both me and the shit-cook are on dishwashing duty then," Zoro sighed, "-damn I had hoped the cook would lose."

Now almost all of the others stared at them open-mouthed.

"Yow! Zoro-bro, are you?" Franky gaped at them, "I mean…"

"Am I what? I thought you'd already figured that out by now," Zoro raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well, yeah, but I didn't think," he looked between him and the now almost asleep Sanji on his lap.

"S'tell im Zzoro," Sanji mumbled into his thigh and Zoro couldn't help smirking a little before he nodded, "Okay, just don't come crying to me tomorrow if or when you remember this!"

"Won't, s'long s'you tell em I'm usly teh one on'top." Sanji curled himself closer to Zoro.

"Well I guess there's no need to lie about it then," he looked at the others who were mostly sitting transfixed, staring at the unfathomable scene in front of them.

"Yohoho, so I didn't need to use the last I have never for this after all then," Brook smiled a little fondly at them.

* * *

 **AN:** If you've read all the way down here, thank you so much! I had so much fun writing this, so I hope you enjoyed it. Please fav and or review, I'd love to hear your thoughts.


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